Inspiration

You know the rush you feel at Christmas time when there are so many things on your to do list you feel like your head will explode? I always try to stop myself, take a deep breath and get centered in the true meaning of the season before I press forward. Otherwise, I end up feeling like a cliche, another person lost in the rat race of life lacking the common sense to stop and smell the flowers. Feeling like the only reason why I am shopping and decorating for the holidays is because the TV told me to. For these reasons, there are several people, you know them as well, who pronounce during the holidays that they hate Christmas.

This past year over the holidays, I once again felt the "rush" and my body and mind pulled into the powerful energy that time is a wastin'. Once the holidays were over and the new year had begun with expectancy I noticed the rush did not seem to end. I started to wonder as life was speeding all around me if this level of energy was the new normal?

I asked a few friends, "Does it feel like we are still in the holiday rush to you?"

Every friend I polled seemed to say, "Yes, its unbelievable, I don't know where the days are going!"

Something I can't ignore about this new "rush" compared to the holidays, for me anyways,  is I am experiencing so much synchronicity. Unlike during the holidays when you get sucked up into all that "craziness" and nothing seems to go as planned. Lately my schedule between work and play and seeing friends and family is falling into place with ease. I suppose the other difference would be that I am working out regularly and eating right instead of pigging out on holiday cookies and skipping the gym! (Thank God I got that part figured out in my perpetual holiday season). I find I am so eager to get up in the morning and start the day with my many projects in front of me, I struggle to figure out which one to start first. I just don't have enough hours in the day to finish them all.

So now I get up between 5-6am and start working on my civil war novel (now in the homestretch) until I hit the gym around 930am and then I come home and start working on my training business for the rest of the day. Around lunch time, I take a break and call my dear friend Gerri and check in with her on how she is doing with her book and its different business aspects and we usually talk about what has been the best part of our day so far. Sometimes I am eating my lunch while we talk just to get extra time on the phone with her (she doesn't mind). We talk about our daily triumphs, obstacles, marketing strategies, writing schedules, ideas for growing our businesses and what or who we need to say some prayers for in our lives. I have come to understand what the term "power lunch" really means. After lunch, it's back to the day job until dinner. Between dinner and bedtime, I relax with my husband and give all my attention to him and a few random household chores. This schedule or rather how I execute it, or succeed, is always challenged but I hold the vision of  harmony and can always try again the next day.

Truly, I realize the difference is perspective. In this new flow compared to the old holiday rush, I have noticed I am joyful and excited. I feel consumed by spirit and my new favorite word is unstoppable (it sounds a bit corny, I know).

I will finish my novel in the next two months, teach numerous CPR & First Aid training classes along the way (my day job) as well as help others reach their writing goals (my editing/consulting side job). In cohesion with all of this, my husband and I will continue to nurture and enjoy our marriage, I'll sing in the choir at church and have meaningful time with my family, friends as well as enjoy everyday moments shared with strangers where only a kind word or a smile is exchanged. All of which fill me up and keep me motivated in the face of daily adversity.

Indeed it is all about perspective. You can see your life and everything in it as a wonderful adventure, full of high energy and blessings or a hectic time where you are in complete resistance fighting life every step of the way wondering when something good is going to happen.

I used to work in law enforcement many years ago so I know a little something about being a control freak. I loved my job then too but sometimes struggled to find a peaceful balance between policing everything whether I was at work or not or just going with the flow and enjoying life's ride. To survive any type of public service job whether its being a police officer, a nurse or a flight attendant you have to find a little "Zen" in every day for balance. What you do for a living isn't always who you are, it's just the beginning.

I always say that when I began to write is when I entered into "Type A Recovery", one of these days I will write that book (great title)! One of my favorite quotes that keeps me centered is from Souza:

"Dance as though no one is watching you, love as though you have never been hurt before, sing as though no one can hear you, live as though heaven is on earth."

If you try to search for Souza as source on the Internet, he is an enigma. The only information I could find referred to him as Alfred Souza, Alfred D. Souza or Father Alfred D. Souza and said that he was a writer, philosopher, theologian who lived in Brisbane Australia and died in 2004. It's too bad because this quote has given me and I'm sure thousands new perspective on life. Maybe Souza perferred anonimity or thought the credit should be given to a higher source?

I'm sure you have heard the quote many times before but my favorite part of the quote is the part about living as though "heaven is on earth." If heaven is on earth, than it is always Christmas!

In doing my research I found yet another Souza quote:

“For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, or a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life. This perspective has helped me to see that there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way.”

I think this quote is now my new favorite.

- JC Beichner

Thank You 2010

At the end of the year we all naturally take some sort of inventory. What have we accomplished. Where we have gone. Who we have met. With the ebb and flow of recollection and emotion, moments of the past year can seem like yesterday or a handful of years ago and still only be within the span of the last 12 months. Doesn't last January, seems like ages ago?

So many of our memories are marked by special events on the calendar like birthdays and holidays. Eventful days that assist us in remembering the time as it passes and properly filing it away as the more important images we should not forget. But still there are even more ordinary moments that without a bookmark can quickly fade into the dim light of our mind's eye, save for their emotional echo sometimes lingering behind still connected to a place or a friend.

I sometimes wish I could save these everyday extraordinary moments inside a type of snow globe that I could shake once in awhile to relive them all over again on especially gloomy days when nothing feels right and you have to look so much harder to find the beauty in a person, place or thing. Yet, I know I would become a hoarder. I would have so many memory filled snow globes there would be little room for any thing else in our house. So on this last day of 2010 I am going to shake the crazy snow globe that is my head and look hard at all the people, places and things that have blessed our life this year. In doing so I hope I will make way for all the wonderful people, places and things I have yet discover and experience in 2011 and beyond.

Thank you 2010, for my husband David and his gentle, loving heart that expands and flexes with his crazy wife's overly enthusiastic and positive spirit. Thank you for our entire family, especially our three amazing Grandsons who call me Nana, and always tell me that they love me.

Thank you 2010 for letting me discover something new about my self every time I pick up a pen to write or touch my fingers to a keyboard.

Thank you for our beautiful home where we have been able to welcome so many friends and family this year. Where inside we have celebrated good health, the well written word, birthdays, confirmations, warm holidays by a fireplace, reunions with old friends, late night discussions and of course, love.

Thank you 2010 for our Faith, the Holy Spirit that fills our lives and reminds each of us how very special and treasured we are in God's love despite the darkness that persists in the world around us.

Thank you for all the amazing places we have been able to go and our friends and family that through so many blessings, we have been able to spend time with in California, Park City, New York, Colorado and our river house.

Thank you for the butterfly at the top of the Empire State building that reminded me to believe in my dreams.

Thank you 2010 for all of our new friends and for all of our old friends, especially those we were able to reconnect with in gratitude for intertwined histories and hearts that help us realize how far we have come in this life.

Thank you for the tears. The tears of joy, the tears of grief, and the tears of anger. Thank you for the tears we have shed for those who have gone ahead leaving us behind to miss them in anticipation of divine reunion.

Thank you for letting us be there for others in word, deed or spirit as they were grieving or struggling this year. Thank you for all of our failures this year that made us try harder and for all of those who were there for us when we needed them.

Thank you for the harsh words we heard or said that later reminded us to be more kind. To let our vanities go. To be love.

Thank you 2010 for the inspiration of others that told us to keep trying, to dig deeper and in turn be an inspiration to others.

Thank you for allowing us to dance and move, yet still remember how difficult it can be when you cannot. Thank you for our open minds and willing hearts that are not afraid to listen, be tolerant, or patient.

Thank you so much for all the smiles, hugs, kisses, laughter and prayers that sustained us and will sail us into 2011.

Thank you.

Abundance

While talking with a friend the other night, I was overwhelmed with gratitude. It felt bright and warm like stepping into the sun after being in an over air conditioned room for too long. My friend is a writer too, a soul sister to be sure. She is older than me, with children and grandchildren, but our dreams are the same and our journey ever so intertwined. When I am frustrated or lonely for inspiration, she is there. My friend.

Friendship is the greatest gift we ever give to another person, yet sometimes we find ourselves in the vacuum of life and it feels like work or just one more thing taking up the time that we don't have left in our day. I hate that pressured feeling. The feeling of "have to." Whether it's in my work, around the house or in my relationships. It's steeped in ego and only speaks of scarcity.

Sometimes, when I feel that pressure of items not checked off my "to do" list, I stop myself and focus on the word "abundance" and the fact that I truly believe that everything happens in God's perfect timing. Then I exhale and continue on. I want to notice, really see, the abundance in each and every day, every moment and every loved ones' face but it takes practice.

Recently, I came to an understanding with my body that exercising is an absolute necessity. I now enjoy going to the gym. No really, I do. Another dear friend of mine teaches kick boxing at our gym and we also attend Zumba classes together which are a blast! Both classes are heavy cardio, which demand that you effectively breathe lots of air in and out, very quickly if you wish to survive either class. For whatever reason, I often find myself holding my breath. In light of the fact that breathing is the most natural un-thinking thing we do as human beings; I over think it!

Halfway through a class, I end up turning bright red and sweating profusely so much so that when I run errands after the gym and don't touch base with my husband, he fears I may have passed out in class and pictures me surrounded by women in skimpy workout clothes shaking their heads at my limp body lying on the floor and saying, "She was so young, if only she breathed more often."

So as I workout, I try to make myself more aware of my breathing as to not become totally heat exhausted. Then, it suddenly dawns on me that I am not exercising in "abundance." I obviously have some strange fear that there is not enough air in the room or less faith that I can follow the instructor and breathe at the same time. Why? Because despite my best efforts, like everyone else, God-fearing or not, we succumb to "there is not enough for everybody" rather than "because of everybody, there is enough."

It's all fear, a lack of love in some way, shape or form. I am familiar with all this, as in my writing, when I momentarily freak out and worry about not having enough time or taking too much time, to finish my book or other projects.

I am so glad that I have lived enough to know how incredibly off base all of that nonsense truly is in comparison to what we are all capable of if only we commit ourselves to what is possible. There is enough.

"Abundance" is my one word meditation and prayer to God everyday for myself and for all those that I love. It's my simple way of telling myself "I can go on," "I will get there and I am doing just fine."

Everything, of course, is easier said than done and sometimes "abundance" is elusive, so I have to start with "gratitude." I begin by counting all the ways I am blessed. Blessed with a loving spouse, amazing friends, a project I love working on, the ability to exercise, fresh air to breath (sigh), food on my table and a heart and mind that is open and ready to receive.

The next time you speak to a friend, complete a project or just enjoy a great movie, stop for a moment and bask in the glow of your appreciation for whatever it is, and you will find with just a small dose of self-awareness, that you have landed yourself somewhere between gratitude and abundance.

"Autumn is wisdom, the breath between what was and what lies ahead."

- JC Beichner